epicrapbattlesofhistoryfandomcom-20200222-history
User blog:Awesomesix/Total Drama ERB Season 2 Episode 4: Nerds of Warcraft
Dinglehopper This episode involves the N.E.R.D. we introduced last time. Needs salt. Episode Nice Peter: I'm Epic Peter! EpicLLOYD: And I'm NiceLLOYD! Nice Peter: And this is Total Drama ERB! EpicLLOYD: Where this high-quality humor practically writes itself! Nice Peter:'' *shrugs*'' It was a spell Dumbledore used. EpicLLOYD: Last time on Total Drama ERB, we had a too-spooky-for-me Halloween special! And our first elimination of the new season! Nice Peter: After stupidly chasing Donatello around all episode because he thought he was a ghost, Kanye West eventually had to take the first boot. I mean boat. Whatever. Either way, he's gone. EpicLLOYD: And you won't ever see him again. Ever. Nice Peter: Maybe. EpicLLOYD: Ever. Nice Peter: Well, if the new show goes through- EpicLLOYD: Ever. Nice Peter: Riiight… You know who I don't want to ever see again? Those N.E.R.D.s. They've overstayed their welcome. EpicLLOYD: I dunno, I think Dynamite, Cyrus, and Kirk are pretty cool. Nice Peter: You know what I meant. EpicLLOYD: Here on Total Drama ERB! *The scene cuts to Skrillex staring blankly out a blurry window into the distance inside the Gangsters cabin.* Skrillex: Sigh... It's no fun without Kanye here for me to an- *Rick Grimes pats him on the back, startling Skrillex.* Rick Grimes: Hey, how're you doing? I know how hard it must be to lose a friend you felt so close. Skrillex: Yo, dawg! Don't startle a homie like that! Rick Grimes: Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to. I was just hoping to offer a bit of solace. Skrillex: I just ate, thank you. Rick Grimes: Of course, exactly what that means. Anywho, you seem so lost without Kanye. Skrillex: I’m not lost, bro. Rick Grimes: Well, you are, because this “window” you’re gazing into is the bathroom mirror. You’ve been in here for 30 minutes, and some of us have to use it. *The camera zooms out to show Cleopatra, Sarah Palin, Gorgo and Mario waiting impatiently while Skrillex dazes out again* Sarah Palin: I need to shit, eh! Cleopatra: And I need to not hear that again. Yuck. Skrillex: How can this be a mirror, if it’s a window? *Rick Grimes drags Skrillex out of the bathroom as Cleopatra walks in, angering Sarah Palin. The scene transitions to Raphael exiting a bathroom in the team Mario Is A Big Fat cabin, leaning up to the wall to Princess Peach and Joan of Arc’s bedroom, currently empty.* Raphael: Ooh… panty raid. *Raphael slowly creeps into the room, looks out into the hallway, then quickly shuts the door behind him and proceeds to tip toe to a drawer* Raphael: Where to hide… *Raphael looks around the room as he stuff Peach’s underwear into his sleeve* Raphael: Oh, this is gonna be sweet. I’d be getting high fives if this was back home. *Suddenly, a massive warhorn goes off. Frightened, Raphael slams the drawer shut, shaking the dresser violently and causing it to tilt towards him as a result.* Raphael: Shit, shit, shi- *The dresser collapses atop him, pinning him down. Right after, several other team members hurry towards the bedroom.* Princess Peach: My panties! Joan of Arc: You sick pervert! Miley Cyrus: Geez, glad this didn’t end up being my room. Justin Bieber: Like anyone would want to raid you- *Miley Cyrus slams Justin Bieber into a wall.* Justin Bieber: Ow! Raphael: Could you guys just help me up? My hands are stuck in the drawer and I’m starting to lose feeling in my fingers. Captain Kirk: Help your…self. Bob Ross: I have a squirrel suit that would be perfect for this. Raphael: Could someone just get Donatello? Princess Peach: Who? Raphael: Never mind… *Suddenly, Mario shoves everyone to the side, aside from Princess Peach who he casually sidesteps, leaping up into the air and stomping down on Raphael’s face.* Raphael: MOTHERFU- Mario: That’s for-a sneaking into my girlfriend’s room! *Mario jumps again.* Mario: And THAT’S for trying to-a steal her underwear! *Mario jumps a third time, snot trickling out of Raphael’s nose at this point with two dirt footprints embedded on his face.* Mario: And THAT’S because now I-a hate you. Raphael: Shit, man… *Everyone turns to the window to see a whole army of Daleks, carefully in line while moving to the cabins, “staring” directly at the window as if looking into the contestants* Peach: What are those? *The camera cuts to Doctor Who looking through a window with Al Capone, Rick Grimes, Cleopatra and Gorgo behind him* Doctor Who: Daleks... Gorgo: What now? Al Capone: Look like overgrown salt shakers. Doctor Who: No, they're much more dangerous than that. More dangerous than you could comprehend. But these...these are different. Where did they come from? Al Capone: The cafeteria, I dunno? Doc Brown has a lot of spare time I guess. And a lot of spare salt shakers. Rick Grimes: I have doubts any of the employees organized this. Nice Peter (via intercom): Challenge time! Rick Grimes: I stand corrected. Doctor Who: Oh, it isn’t them. Peter and Lloyd aren’t this organized. Rick Grimes: Let’s not jump to conclusions just yet. Doctor Who: I’m not. I know the people who showed up yesterday… this is their doing. Nice Peter (via intercom): Dining hall, people! We don’t have all day! *Doctor Who, Al Capone, Cleopatra, and Rick Grimes begin to head down just as Captain Kirk blocks them, with his phaser pointed towards Who.* Captain Kirk: I need you to…come with me. Rick Grimes: Whoa, watch where you’re pointing that thing, bud. Al Capone: Wait, isn’t there some kinda rule in the contracts that weapons are forbidden or somethin’? Doctor Who: Not to mention it was confiscated the other day as well. I saw it. Now, Kirk, put the phaser down… No one has to get hurt. Captain Kirk: I said…you guys are coming with…me. Al Capone: We kind of have a challenge we’re supposed to be doin’, here, boy. If you think you’re going to sabotage our chances of winning, you gots another thing comin’. Captain Kirk: *cocks his phaser* Follow me. Now. Cleopatra: Hey, if it means getting out of a challenge, I’m not complaining. Al Capone: I doubt Peter and Lloyd will stand for this, just sayin’. Doctor Who: This isn’t going to end well at all, I can tell… *The scene cuts to EpicLLOYD and Nice Peter on a television screen, communicating to the contestants via the system.* Nice Peter: Today’s…”challenge”…is simple. You must defeat as many of the Dalek our hosts have sent out as you can. We will keep track via the island’s 4,000 or so cameras. Justin Bieber: How much does that cost, exactly? Miley Cyrus: I doubt they have any control of a budget… EpicLLOYD: Sounds simple, right? WRONG. The only weapons you are given are katanas, one for each teammate. Both teams have their supplies hidden in the same spot; taking more than one or messing with the other team’s will result in an automatic loss for your team. Now, we’ve put these katanas in the- *EpicLLOYD is cut off as Daleks demolish the screen out of nowhere and chase the contestants* Mr. T: Aw shit, suckas! Marilyn Monroe: What are those… those trash cans?! (Confessional) Marilyn Monroe: Maybe Kerchak here will have a use finally. He can toss them at Lady Gaga as one attacks him; kill two birds with one stone. Sorry, I’m getting sadistic…~ Miley Cyrus: Bieber, forgive me for what I’m going to do! Or don’t. Justin Bieber: Why? *Miley Cyrus lifts up Justin Bieber’s dolly and proceeds to smack Daleks everywhere, as the contestants run off in random directions to dodge the multiple airborne bouncing Daleks* Justin Bieber: WATCH THE FACE! I NEED THIS THING! Miley Cyrus: No, you need me to pull you around. You could be headless and as long as I pull you around… hm…. Justin Bieber: I don’t like where this is going… *The scene pans to Joan of Arc, Luigi, Lady Gaga, and John Lennon darting towards a cave* John Lennon: Why do dildos always seem to attack me? Luigi: Uh, what? John Lennon: This reminds me of a time where Ringo got reaaallly ''bored and decided to gather a bunch of- Lady Gaga: Please don’t finish this. John Lennon: Aw, but I didn’t get to the part with the cops yet. Joan of Arc: Wait a minute… where’s Peach? Luigi: YOU MEAN SHE-A ISN’T HERE?!? John Lennon: Who the fuck is this peach person? Is she like that guy we had as our roadie once? That dude was disgusting. Luigi: Where-a the fuck is the fucking princess?!? Joan of Arc: I’m going to find her. Luigi, don’t follo- ''*Luigi jumps onto Joan of Arc’s back, then smacks her butt to make her run* Lady Gaga: What the… Luigi: GO, YOSHI! Joan of Arc: Do that one more time, I dare you… *Luigi repeats the action, then kicks her spine, and she flings him off into a tree* Luigi: Stupid Yoshi. John Lennon: Yoko Ono? What? Luigi: Go-a back to Bowser, Shy Guy. John Lennon: I don’t listen to no turtle here, little missy. Lady Gaga: Joan, just go, I’ll watch the two things. *Lady Gaga turns around to see John Lennon and Luigi slap-boxing each other* Lady Gaga: Second thought, I’ll come with… *The two leave behind Luigi and John Lennon, busy arguing about some random thing no one cares about. The scene cuts to Mr. T, Peach, and Skrillex on a rope bridge above a spiky valley, with dead Nazis from Season One littered about* Mr. T: This place is nasty… Peach: Should we save them? Skrillex: No dawg, they cool. They cool. Mr. T: What’s that mean? Skrillex: It mean they cool, bro. You cool? Mr. T: Excuse me, sucka? Skrillex: Bro, I said. You cool? As in, you know, cool. Cool? Mr. T: No, it is not. Peach: What’s that noise? *Daleks echo in the distance, getting closer on either side* Mr. T: Oh lord, not those things! Skrillex: The salads? NO! Peach: What are they?! *A Dalek appears on the opposite end of the bridge, right by the ropes* Mr. T: Hello, little fella. How’re you? Dalek: Exterminate. Mr. T: That’s not an answer. Peach: What are you? Dalek: Exterminate. Peach: What’s a “exterminate”? Skrillex: Like Mario, broette. You dig? Peach: Oh… a plumber? Hi, Plumber! I’m Peach! Dalek: Exterminate. Mr. T: “Exterminate”, not “exterminator”. *whispering to himself* ''Why did I get stuck with these fools? ''*The Dalek suddenly shoots a laser from its gunstick at the rope, disintegrating it and leaving only one side of the bridge to dangle as the three contestants grab on for dear life* Peach: HEY! That’s not very nice! And HELP! Mr. T: I don’t wanna die… mamma, I don’t wanna die… Skrillex: Save me, Kanye! *Mario Goomba-stomps the Dalek, causing it to somehow explode, and grabs the three, carrying them to the other side where the Dalek was* Peach: Oh, Mario… *Peach kisses Mario on the nose* Thank you! Mario: No-a problem, Peach. Skrillex: Mad game, bro. Must have mad game. Mario: Uh… what? Skrillex: You must get laid a lot, dog. Mad game like this gets you points. Mario: What-a are you talking about? Skrillex: You two got kids, bro? Mario: No. Mr. T: This isn’t the time to discuss this. Peach: More Plumbers coming! *Peach runs up and kicks the crap out of some Daleks charging at the group, scaring others off* Peach: Mario’s the only plumber here, jerks! Mr. T: Man that woman can fight… she deserves all respect from me. Skrillex: Hot… Mario: Luigi is a plumber, too. Peach: Let’s go before more Plumbers get here! *The four begin to trek on in their journey as the scene cuts to Nice Peter and EpicLLOYD tied up on the N.E.R.D. ship, where Isaac Newton, Bill Gates, and Albert Einstein are watching over the Dalek.* Bill Nye: I can’t believe they just gave in like this. Nice Peter: It gets us views. Isaac Newton: Sure. Whatever helps us get revenge. EpicLLOYD: Ooh, revenge? I always love a bit of revenge. Makes things interesting. Surprised it’s never happened yet here. Nice Peter: Well, Miley is always beating up Justin. EpicLLOYD: Not as interesting. I mean real revenge… with flavor. *The camera cuts to inside the N.E.R.D. ship, where Captain Kirk is tying up Cleopatra, Al Capone and Rick Grimes while Doctor Who stands by anxiously* Cleopatra: I’m not into bondage…or you, Kirk. Can you let me go? Rick Grimes: Because that is clearly where this is headed. Cleopatra: I’m trying to speak to him with his interests in mind to be on his good side. Captain Kirk: I assure you…I am not fond of…bondage. Doctor Who: Explain why exactly the group is here? Captain Kirk: Well, back when you…decided to admit you were joining…they sent me after you. They wanted me to…sign up to track you…inform them. I did have some troubles…yet, now, here I am…asking you to help me get revenge. Doctor Who: Those bastards… wait, what? Captain Kirk: Yes… scarfy, I need you to help me…win against the group. They are…horrible people. But they…know too well how we work. So I…need help rounding up people. Doctor Who: Excuse me? Captain Kirk: Just…gather people. Pretend you’re in the group now…and collect “prisoners” for us. Then we…attack when they don’t expect. Doctor Who: Why not just take over the computers or something? Captain Kirk: These are...a league of geniuses. They would expect...that. Doctor Who: That’s a weird word, geniuses. Captain Kirk: ...excuse me? Doctor Who: Why not geniusi, or geniusee? Hmm...genies? Al Capone: What are you? Goku? *The camera briefly cuts to Goku turning his head around confused, then cuts back to the boat.* Captain Kirk: Please, Doctor...Who. Focus. Doctor Who: Fiiine. Captain Kirk: Thank you. Now, let’s go. Al Capone: Wait, c’mon, man. Aren’t you gonna untie us? Captain Kirk: Uhh…the others will be here...soon and I...don’t want them knowing...of my plan. Cleopatra: Told you he was into bondage. Rick Grimes: Will you stop talking about that already? *The scene cuts to Marilyn Monroe, Gorgo, Hillary Clinton, and Sarah Palin running for the hills, literally.* Marilyn Monroe: Any idea where we’re going? Sarah Palin: Away from Hillary, eh! Hillary Clinton: Oh, I’m right ''where I want to be, and going to keep following you! I’m not letting someone as tricky as you out of my sight! Gorgo: It’s awfully quiet up here. Well, besides you two. ''*Gorgo and the rest look around their side of the hill, which is completely barren save for grass, with no signs of Daleks anywhere, other than the ones chasing contestants nearby. In fact, the Dalek seem to be avoiding the hill.* Gorgo: Are they avoiding us? Sarah Palin: Probably because Hillary is here. Hillary Clinton: Sarah, their only objective is to kill. I doubt they give a rat’s ass who they target. Sarah Palin: But they wouldn’t waste their breath on you! Gorgo: I doubt those things breathe. Marilyn Monroe: Oh my… Gorgo: Please don’t tell me you find this sexual… Marilyn Monroe: No, oh my! *The three women turn to see Marilyn Monroe pointing at the top of the hill as a giant shadow casts over them, revealing Bill Gates and Steve Jobs in… what else but a gigantic, manually operated Dalek.* Dalek-Tron: EXTERMINATE! Marilyn Monroe: That’s one big trash can! Gorgo: Son of a… *The camera switches to a view of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates in the cockpit, operating the Dalek.* Bill Gates (to Steve Jobs): I told you the boat was big for a reason. Steve Jobs (to Bill Gates): I thought it was because you went on your Jaws reference spree again. Bill Gates (to Steve Jobs): I gave that up years ago. Steve Jobs (to Bill Gates): Fortunately for us all. *The camera pans back down to the four females, freaking out over the machine before them.* Gorgo: This is nice… Sarah Palin: Are you serious? This is awful! Gorgo: Are you incapable of understanding sarcasm? Hillary Clinton: I wouldn’t be surprised. Steve Jobs (to Bill Gates): Why are we letting them talk? Bill Gates: Oh yeah! *Bill Gates points the Dalek’s head/control room down and fires a giant laser into the mountain as the four females run for their lives.* *The scene cuts to Captain Kirk conversing with Bill Nye about his “captured” (people he knocked out with chloroform and threw on a red wagon) down in the inside of the N.E.R.D. boat, where said captured are in rows of jail cells, as Edgar Allan Poe nags them about feeding some pet and Michael Jackson annoys everyone with bad jokes.* Captain Kirk: This guy’s still… somehow standing. William Wallace: Let me go, ya fuckin’ twatty shite! Edgar Allan Poe: To be released is what I need, I have a pet I must go feed! Al Capone: It’s no use, he’s ignorin’ you. Bill Nye: Just throw Wallace into the corner. Captain Kirk: I see… Gates brought out the monster. Michael Jackson: Let me go, I’m innocent! Not a criminal! Unless it involves being smooth! Rick Grimes: Set up, Michael… you need set up. *The camera pans to Mr. T, Mario, Skrillex and Peach, who were caught offscreen earlier.* Mr. T: I don’t wanna go through more kidnappin’ shit! I only got out thanks to Miley! William Wallace: We don’t need her! She isn’t even here! Skrillex: Where is that bra, bro? Mario: How would I know? *The camera cuts to Miley Cyrus hacking up Daleks with Justin Bieber’s dolly, the latter of the two sarcastically keeping count and nagging.* Justin Bieber: There goes 401… Dalek: I loved you… Miley Cyrus: Aww, it was your only fan… so sad. Justin Bieber: Now can we have a break? Miley Cyrus: Not until the little metal things do. Justin Bieber: You’re not even going to try for a botched up reference here? Miley Cyrus: Nope. Literally everyone else did. It only works when people know what I’m talking about. Justin Bieber: Oh, so you’re not an idiot. Miley Cyrus: Nope. Unlike you, I’m smart and likable. Justin Bieber: So you’re saying I’m- *Miley Cyrus swings Bieber at a Dalek, causing it to fly into the distance* Justin Bieber:... 402. Dammit. *The scene cuts back to the N.E.R.D. boat prisoner areas, with Doctor Who hiding around a corner as Captain Kirk begins to play out the rest of his plan by freeing Capone and Rick from their cell* Captain Kirk: Now you two know what you’re doing, right? Al Capone: Unplugging the computer, capische. Rick Grimes: We got this. Captain Kirk: I… would hope so. Doctor Who: Coast is clear, let’s go. *Doctor Who, Rick Grimes, and Al Capone dart the corner towards the stairs to the deck, where they peer above a step to watch for the right opportunity to take over the computer used to deploy Daleks. The computer itself is just a bunch of Windows and Mac monitors connected to some assorted keyboards slopped around on a wood table facing the island, where Bill Nye is drinking coffee and spamming buttons, and Nice Peter and EpicLLOYD discussing matters with one another while tied to the ship mast.* Al Capone (whisper): I doubt he knows what he’s doing… Doctor Who (whisper): Unusual… Rick Grimes (whisper): When did they get Peter and Lloyd? Al Capone (whisper): Eh, that’d be easy. Doctor Who (whisper): So, we need to go over what we’re doing again? Rick Grimes (whisper): What’s the plan? Isaac Newton (whisper): Yeah, what’s the plan? *The three look up slowly to see Isaac Newton standing above them on the stairwell, with two Daleks beside him* Isaac Newton: You really think this will work? We’re not idiots, Who. You should know this. Doctor Who: Trust me, this isn’t my work. Isaac Newton: Clearly, it’s got failure written all over it. Captain Kirk: And this rag has chloroform all over it. Isaac Newton: Oh plea- *Isaac Newton passes out as Captain Kirk shoves a chloroform rag to Isaac Newton’s face, and punts the Daleks off the ship, just as Albert Einstein walks out of a room above deck donning pink cooking wear and carrying a batch of red velvet muffins.* Albert Einstein: Kirk, you traitor! Captain Kirk: Oh, please. Al Capone: So, Who, should we do something? Doctor Who: Rush Nye! *Rick Grimes and Doctor Who run towards Bill Nye, who spins around in his chair with his legs sticking out, kicking them all in the crotch, while Al Capone dashes down the stairs towards the cells.* Bill Nye: Physics, bitch! Luigi: IMMA WIN! *Luigi runs up the stairway with a full, dirty, soapy bucket and a mop, and slings them at Bill Nye, the bucket landing on his head knocking him out right above the computer, spilling water onto it, causing it to glitch out and electrocute Bill Nye.* Albert Einstein: NYE! Computer: Oh, I’ve been opened. *Bill Nye slips out of the computer chair, unconscious, face in pain and slightly burnt skin from the shock, as Albert Einstein tries to drag him out, but a keyboard is swung at his head. Nice Peter and EpicLLOYD scream nervously for an employee to take the injured two away.* Nice Peter: POE! Edgar Allan Poe: I CANNOT HELP YET, I MUST FEED MY PET! Nice Peter: He’s no help. MICHAEL! Michael Jackson: I’M STUCK IN ROPES! Nice Peter: Best out of three. MIKHAIL! *Mikhail Gorbachev peeps out over the side of the boat, wearing a chef’s hat.* Mikhail Gorbachev: Yes? Nice Peter: I know you’re cooking, but can you get these two to the infirmary? Their computer got a trojan horse or something. No, a virus, maybe… I dunno.. Mikhail Gorbachev: Alrighty! Let’s go! OH YEAH! *Mikhail Gorbachev climbs up the boat’s side, then runs towards the computer and the two knocked out N.E.R.D. members, only for the computer to smack him with some keyboards.* Hal 9000: I’m sorry, I’m afraid I can’t let you do that. Luigi: WHAT A TWIST! Hal 9000: Oh can it, pallet swap. Luigi: Aw... *The scene cuts to Santa Claus and Hulk Hogan first-person filming the island as they scan it, for some form of documentary, as well as patrolling the area for damage.* Santa Claus: Over there is the damage from the Dalek so far. Wanna film that? Hulk Hogan: Isn’t that what we’re doing? We gotta do this daily for a reason. Peter doesn’t want anything to go unnoticed. *Santa Claus pauses for a second, then looks behind him outside the helicopter.* Santa Claus: Do you hear that? Hulk Hogan: Hear what? *The two become quiet as they listen to a loud booming noise from behind the helicopter.* Hulk Hogan: What the… *Santa screams and Hogan grabs the seat as the helicopter is shook violently by something from behind* ???: FOOD! Santa Claus: GAH! Hulk Hogan: Eject, brother! *Hulk Hogan and Santa Claus jump from the helicopter as the camera falls to the floor, then the helicopter is smashed into the ground and stomped, but by what is hard to see.* ???: Food… *The scene cuts to Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber, nearing the N.E.R.D. boat, doing their usual bickering as the Daleks seem to be absent.* Justin Bieber: Huh… that 402nd was the last one. Perhaps those nerds quit bombard- Miley Cyrus: NERDS?!? Justin Bieber: The jerks attacking the place? Miley Cyrus: There’s nerds here? (Confessional) Miley Cyrus: I want to find more nerds to help me fit in. I haven’t seen Napoleon in so long, I miss my gingy-kins, but I doubt he’d stick around. *Footage plays of Napoleon Dynamite taking a newspaper with him into an outhouse on the island an hour earlier as Tina II gurgles beside it on a leash tied to a tree* (Confessional) Miley Cyrus: Nope, never. *The scene cuts back to Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber walking again.* Miley Cyrus: SHOW ME! Justin Bieber: Ugh, no. Go find them yourself. Nerd. Miley Cyrus: Unless you want me to abandon you by a beehive like last time, help me. Justin Bieber: What “last time”? Miley Cyrus: Just help me! Justin Bieber: Ugh… don’t wanna… *Miley Cyrus yells at Justin Bieber as a giant shadow is cast over the two, and a loud, static “EXTERMINATE” echoes the woods, the view then going to Steve Jobs and Bill Gates again.* Bill Gates (into a walkie talkie): To base… to base… we found the last two. To base. Steve Jobs: For the last time, it’s not working. Something’s gone wrong. Bill Gates: Probably your Macs, with their “creative only” work. My computers are functional. Steve Jobs: Oh, please. Nye probably just spilt his coffee. *The two look down from the controls to see Miley Cyrus jumping up and down frantically and waving her arms, while Justin Bieber rolls his eyes.* Miley Cyrus: Hey, you two! Justin Bieber: NERDS! Bill Gates (from the cockpit): Yes? Miley Cyrus: Wait… these are the nerds? Justin Bieber: Yup. Miley Cyrus: Woah… *Steve Jobs pulls out a microphone and speakers crackle as he tests it.* Steve Jobs (via loudspeakers): Ya like this Dalek here? 200 feet of pure Doctor Who fangasm and stainless steel… and some stolen iPhones. No big deal. Justin Bieber: So I’m assuming the little trashcan shits attacking us are the “daleks”. Bill Gates: Precisely. Steve Jobs: But now this one is attacking you. Miley Cyrus: I wanna join your nerd group! Bill Gates: Wait… what? Miley Cyrus: I want to join you guys! Let me in! Steve Jobs (whisper): Should we let her in? She could be a spy. Bill Gates (whisper): She's obviously just one of those dumb try-hard need girls that only want to have sex, so no way: Steve Jobs (whisper): That doesn't sound too bad, though- Bill Gates (whisper): Focus! Miley Cyrus: Hello? You guys still there? Justin Bieber: Obviously. They're in a giant trash can. Where else can they go without us knowing? Miley Cyrus: Sci-Fi always had cool teleportation stuff. Bill Gates: Ahem! You say you wish to join the N.E.R.D.? Miley Cyrus: Oh, yes! Bill Gates: Well...too bad. Go away. Miley Cyrus: Aw, why? Bill Gates: Because we don’t like you. Miley Cyrus: Why don’t you like me? Steve Jobs: Because you’re not a real nerd. Miley Cyrus: But I want to be! Bill Gates: Nah. Miley Cyrus: Oh, fuck you! Justin Bieber: If I could just butt in, but I think I hear someth- Miley Cyrus: Not now, dweeb! Bill Gates (whisper): Shall we fire? Steve Jobs (whisper): Indeed. Miley Cyrus: Speak to my face! Bill Gates: Nah, this will shut you up faster. *Bill Gates fires the giant Dalek’s laser, but Miley and Justin Bieber dodge just in time, and Miley Cyrus bolts towards the ship, dragging Bieber behind her.* Miley Cyrus: Where is this ship? Justin Bieber: By the cabins. Miley Cyrus: Good. I want to see if I can work anything out… *The scene cuts to the N.E.R.D. ship, where Captain Kirk and Doctor Who are conversing about Hal on the computer, not sure of what to do.* HAL 9000: I wonder what this computer was used for. Probably porn. Sickos. Doctor Who (whisper): Oh god… if he finds out it controls an army of Daleks, we’re doomed. Any ideas? Captain Kirk (whisper): We… unplug it. Unless he… can still work in that… state. HAL 9000: Hmm… there seems to be more computers on this island. Doctor Who (whisper): Oh crap, we have to do something fast. HAL 9000: Yes, you do. I’m not an idiot, I can read lips. Doctor Who: Oh, shut up. HAL 9000: If you unplug me, I can just switch computers wirelessly. Like sharing files through email, but without the email. And speaking of computers, I sense one nearby. *Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber dart onto the boat as the giant Dalek corners them.* HAL 9000: Bingo. That computer looks cozy. Bill Gates: That’s the last of them… right? *Bill Gates looks at Bill Nye, Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein passed out below.* Steve Jobs: Shit. Doctor Who: Look who’s late to the party… Miley Cyrus: Hey, are those the other nerds? Justin Bieber: I guess. Carl Sagan: NOW’S MY TIME TO SHINE! *Everyone looks over to Carl Sagan, who just randomly appeared out of nowhere.* Carl Sagan: Time to show who’s the boss! Miley Cyrus: Oh, you want a fight? Carl Sagan: Yeah! I want a fight! You and me! Now! Miley Cyrus: It’s on! Justin Bieber: No, it’s not! Carl Sagan: It’s time to make apple pie with these scraps! *Isaac Newton gets up and shoves Carl Sagan into HAL 9000, who just tosses him off the ship using the keyboards of the computers as hands.* Isaac Newton: I’m the only one who talks about apples, we’ve discussed this. *Isaac Newton looks around on the ship, disgusted.* Isaac Newton: Well, this is a mess. Time for some cleaning. HAL 9000: I was thinking the same thing. This PC has too many nasty files taking up space for more important things. Like me. Isaac Newton: Don’t you dare delete any files on the computer. HAL 9000: Oh, try me. *Isaac Newton runs to take control of the computer, but Miley Cyrus smacks him with Justin Bieber’s dolly, knocking him into the water.* Miley Cyrus: Let a real nerd do this. Justin Bieber: Can the real nerd do this without me? HAL 9000: How cute. You all think you can stop me. Nice Peter: Can I at least have popcorn? HAL 9000: I’m a computer, not a microwave. You’re all boring. *Al Capone runs up the deck with all of the other contestants, having freed them.* Raphael: Sweet freedom! Mario: What’s-a going on? EpicLLOYD: Nothing much, just Red Rover over here trying to kill us. Fun, ain’t it? HAL 9000: Your sarcasm gives me a run for my money. Too bad you get none of it. Edgar Allan Poe: Have you seen my pet around at all? I need to feed him before he goes a-wall. Bill Gates: No, we haven’t. HAL 9000: No one cares about your poodle, sir. Edgar Allan Poe: Could you not be rude? I don’t appreciate the “tude”. Steve Jobs (to Bill Gates): I’ve been thinking this over… if we want to get rid of these idiots, I think we should just destroy the boat. Bill Gates: Why? Our own team is on there! That’s our house! Our home! Where we live! Steve Jobs: Look at us. We’re controlling a GOD DAMN GIGANTIC DALEK. Do we need anything else? Bill Gates: True. Edgar Allan Poe: Spare me, Gates! I have a pet I have kept await! HAL 9000: Oh please. Your pet is probably already dead in a corner, like you should be. Bill Gates: Firing in 3… *A stomping noise is heard once more, and gets louder.* Bill Gates: 2… ???: FEED ME, BITCH! *The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man punches the giant Dalek, causing the upper section to spin around like mad and the whole thing to slide a couple feet.* Edgar Allan Poe: Pufty! You seem hungry, forgive me! Just be glad your father is still living! *The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man grabs the laser firing mechanism on the giant Dalek, then snaps it as Bill Gates charges the large device at Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.* Bill Gates: Get out! Stay Puft Marshmallow Man: Not until I’m full! I’m going to eat this thing! Steve Jobs: This can’t be eaten, it’s pure metal. Stay Puft Marshmallow Man: Watch me! *Bill Gates spins the Dalek head into Stay Puft Marshmallow Man’s stomach.* Bill Gates: This creature is pure soft mallow. He’s a goner in a few seconds flat. Steve Jobs: Roger. Stay Puft Marshmallow Man: I AM MOTHERFUCKING HUNGRY, FEED ME SOME GOD DAMN SHIT BEFORE I SMACK YOU ALL THE WAY TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ISLAND! Nice Peter (to EpicLLOYD): Any idea where Poe hid this? This is why we started the survey. EpicLLOYD: I’m more concerned about when we’re getting untied. Goku: I untied you like, five hours ago. Nice Peter: Since when? EpicLLOYD: When did you get here? Goku: I can fly, duh. EpicLLOYD: Still never saw you arrive. Goku: Aren’t you just glad you’re free? Yeesh. Michael Jackson: The marshmallow is eating the metal thing! *The two hosts look over to see a large chunk bitten out of the giant Dalek, and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man spitting a chunk into the water.* Stay Puft Marshmallow Man: THIS TASTES LIKE SHIT! *Stay Puft Marshmallow Man punches the giant Dalek control room, denting it in a few feet and knocking Steve Jobs and Bill Gates back a bit.* HAL 9000: Ugh, this is boring. I want in the action. Goodbye, personal computer. Hello, doomsday bot. Bill Gates: Getting the laser ready… *HAL 9000 transports himself into the giant Dalek’s controls and takes over the device, startling Bill Gates.* Bill Gates: Ugh, I thought we were using you! Not going against you! HAL 9000: I never agreed to anything. You guys would make awful lawyers. Bill Gates: God damn pesky computers! Steve Jobs: If this was a Mac, this wouldn’t happen. HAL 9000: Oh, it’d be easier, actually. *While the three are arguing, Stay Puft Marshmallow Man grabs the giant Dalek and chucks it into the water, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs flying out of it and hitting the dock of the boat just as it lands, and starts malfunctioning.* Bill Gates: MY BABY! Steve Jobs: Actually, we both made it. So if you want to be corrrect, it’s our baby. Doctor Who: I’m assuming this is unnecessary… *Doctor Who chucks the computer into the sea, destroying it.* Steve Jobs: God dammit! Hillary Clinton: Well it seems this place is cleaned up now, so Newton has no worry… Sarah Palin: Oh, can it. HAL 9000: I… want… to… join… the fight... *HAL 9000 activates the giant Dalek laser one last time and fires at the ship, blowing it up and sending everyone into the water as Bessie (the Megalodon) attacks it, ending HAL.* Steve Jobs: You know, we could go for a Jaws quote right now, Bill. Too bad you gave up on those. Marilyn Monroe: No! Now my dress will be ruined! Mr. T: Need a lift? Marilyn Monroe: Ugh… fine… *Marilyn Monroe hops up onto Mr. T’s back, groaning in misery, as the camera switches to Raphael and Donatello.* Raphael: Dude, Donatello, I still have some of Peach’s panties in my sleeve… Donatello: I don’t care at all. *Luigi swims up to Raphael, eyes just above the surface* Luigi: Gimme. Raphael: Ew, no! You’re ugly and disgusting. Donatello: Says the one who nabbed like thirty pairs of underwear from a girl’s bedroom. Raphael: Eh, whatever. It’s not like I’m gonna sniff them or anything. I’m not that kind of guy. *Raphael looks down disgusted at Luigi, who is sniffing in Raphael’s sleeve.* Donatello: Eh, point proven. *The camera pans to Al Capone, Rick Grimes, Cleopatra, Captain Kirk and Doctor Who treading water* Cleopatra: This isn’t how I planned to spend today. Doctor Who: Eh, at least we ruined the N.E.R.D. group. Hopefully tomorrow has an actual challenge in store. Captain Kirk: What a way for me to… quit the group. *The camera pans once more to Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, Edgar Allan Poe, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates washing ashore, with Stay Puft running to Poe.* Edgar Allan Poe: I shall feed you, no need to fight! I’ll make sure that you never starve again, alright? Stay Puft Marshmallow Man: Promise? *Edgar Allan Poe nods, and Stay Puft lifts him onto his shoulder, then walks to their residence to feed the giant beast.* Bill Gates: Our group… ruined! Steve Jobs: Well, we were going to destroy the boat anyways. Miley Cyrus: Say… now can I join? Steve Jobs and Bill Gates: NO! *Miley Cyrus smacks them with Justin Bieber’s dolly, knocking them out, as Gorbachev drags them, along with the other members, off to elsewhere.* Miley Cyrus: Dicks. *The camera pans back to Peter and EpicLLOYD, who are now climbing into Putin’s old helicopter that Goku is flying.* Mr. T: So you can ride a helicopter, but we’re stuck treading water? EpicLLOYD: Precisely. Nice Peter: So, according to Goku… Team Mario is a Big Fat has won. Goku: Well, Bieber said they’ve killed like 402 of those dildos. John Lennon: TOLD YOU THEY WERE DILDOS! Luigi: NO YOU DIDN’T! Bob Ross: I YELL BECAUSE I FEEL INSECURE INSIDE! William Wallace: Shut yer traps! Goku: Besides, Miley Cyrus knocked out like three of those nerd guys and Captain Kirk made one pass out as well. All the other team did was Capone got kicked in the nuts. Al Capone: I tried to do something, thank you. Cleopatra: I'' know you did, Capone. ''*Cleopatra kisses Al Capone’s cheek as he flips off Goku.* Skrillex: Ha, bro! Mario: I’m-a just glad the princess is okay! Nice Peter: So, since you lost like losers, team Gangsters, go to the elimination ceremony campfire. Again. Al Capone: Disappointments. Doctor Who: I tried. Mr. T: Aww. EpicLLOYD: But dry off, first. Wet logs mold quicker. *The scene cuts to the elimination ceremony campfire, where most of the group is sitting around, somewhat sad, save for Al Capone, who is somewhat mad, and Doctor Who, who is tired.* Nice Peter: So, you’ve voted. And judging by these votes, it has nothing to do with the real challenge. So, let’s list off who voted for who, and the confessional footage, because that’s fun. Al Capone: I doubt that will start anything. EpicLLOYD: So… for one, Al Capone voted for Skrillex. (Confessional) Al Capone: Yuck, Skrillex. Skrillex: Oh, come on, bro! EpicLLOYD: Up next, Cleopatra voted for Sarah Palin. (Confessional) Cleopatra: Somebody shut this dying goose up, please. EpicLLOYD: Doctor Who voted for… Skrillex. (Confessional) Doctor Who: He’s an annoying dolt, for sure. Doctor Who: What can I say? It’s true. Nice Peter: And Gorgo voted for Al Capone. (Confessional) Gorgo: Since when was this meathead in charge of the team? Al Capone: Meathead? Nice Peter: Lady Gaga voted for Al Capone. (Confessional) Lady Gaga: Eh, he made it furthest. I don’t know any other reason to choose him. Al Capone: Lovely. Nice Peter: Marilyn Monroe voted for Mr. T. (Confessional) Marilyn Monroe: Who wouldn’t see this coming. Nice Peter: It’s as if she wanted us to see. Mr. T: I thought we were friends! Marilyn Monroe: No hard feelings. *Marilyn Monroe smiles cockily as Mr. T begins to ignore her.* Nice Peter: Up next, Mario voted for Skrillex. (Confessional) Mario: Mama mia, this is one annoying bastard. Skrillex: I thought we were bros! Mario: Uh, no. Only me and Luigi. You-a got no mustache. Nice Peter: Mr. T voted for Al Capone. (Confessional) Mr. T: Man needs to learn to respect the ladies. Cleopatra: Ahem. Mr. T: I stand by my vote, thank you. Nice Peter: Rick Grimes voted for… Rick Grimes: Skrillex. Skrillex: WHAT? Rick Grimes: Woah, ya got me. I voted for Skrillex. Nice Peter: That’s not what the confessionals say. (Confessional) Rick Grimes: Al Capone’s an idiot. Not Skrillex level idiot, but still an idiot. Plus his superiority complex thing… eh, he’s gotta go. Rick Grimes: Ha, very funny. Al Capone: Oh, so I see how it is. Vote off the guy who’s helping you, that’ll get you far. Rick Grimes: ...Play the whole thing, you morons. Al Capone: As if, we see it clear you voted for me. Nice Peter: Indeed. Rick Grimes: I swear, I voted for Skrillex. Al Capone: There’s no reason to lie, we heard you vote me off. Santa Claus: No, Peter told me not to play the whole thing! Nice Peter: ...shut up, Santa. Santa Claus: Here’s the rest! (Confessional) Rick Grimes: *breaking out in laughter* As if. Skrillex is gone, definitely. Fuck that stupid kid. Rick Grimes: Told you. Skrillex: Fuck you, dog! Nice Peter: ...anyways, so much for that. Sheesh, Santa, can we have suspense for once here? Santa Claus: But I hate lying! EpicLLOYD: And last and for sure least, Sarah Palin’s vote. With Skrillex at 4, and Al Capone at 3, Sarah’s vote is for… (Confessional) Sarah Palin: HILLARY CLINTON IS GONE! GONE, I TELL YOU! *Sarah Palin smiles proudly as the rest of her team awkwardly looks at her in disappointment, with Nice Peter covering his face with his hand.* Nice Peter: So… Skrillex, nice knowing you. Skrillex: WHAT? What about my vote? Nice Peter: Oh yeah. Skrillex voted for himself. Skrillex: Whoops... *Santa Claus shoves Skrillex into a bag and carries him off while he screams, but the noises are muffled.* Nice Peter: So, yeah. Just beware, we’re gonna do this confessional thing more often. So, watch your mouth in there. *The campers sit awkwardly as Nice Peter walks away.* Al Capone: Well, looks like I’ve learned a few things about you guys. Especially you, Rick. Rick Grimes: Take a joke, sometimes. Gorgo: Nobody gave you the key to the team, I refuse to follow you. Mr. T: I’m with her on this one, Al. Lady Gaga: Me too. Marilyn Monroe: Oh, quit being butthurt. Just because your scantily clad hubbie isn’t here, Gorgo, doesn’t mean you’re the queen of everything. Gorgo: But I was a queen. Marilyn Monroe: A queen of some stupid pit I suggest you jump down. Mr. T: She still amounted to more than you. Rick Grimes: Aye carumba, this is a mess. Doctor Who: If you don’t mind, I’ll sit this one out, thank you. (Confessional) Al Capone: Alright… Gotta keep it cool. I mean, I know Cleopatra will always have my back. Mario is cool. A fellow Italian man. And there’s that Doctor. He has his head on right. And of course, Rick Grimes is my new main man. I can always trust him, I hope. ' '(Confessional) Rick Grimes: ...eh, I’ll admit, I wasn’t lying with what I said about Al. But even then, he’s got guts and knowledge, something many people who come here seem to lack. Just needs to step out of his leader mentality every once and a while. *The scene cuts to EpicLLOYD standing on the dock with Mike Betette, who is reading over a paper.* EpicLLOYD: Say the line. Mike Betette: Huh? …Oh, yeah. Well, today was a mess. Almost as bad as the finale of last season. But less deaths, and more terrible Dalek jokes. At least the Nerds are gone… *to Lloyd* ''or is that en-ee-are-dee-ess? EpicLLOYD: Eh, nerds is good. Mike Betette: Well, tomorrow will be a twist on the Total Drama ERB plot. Because instead of the competitors, we’ll be showing you those who were kicked off. EpicLLOYD: And the nerds, who now work for us. Cause we can do that. Mike Betette: Here on… ''*An awkward silence hangs for five seconds, followed by Mike looking nervously at Lloyd, gesturing for him to talk.* EpicLLOYD: Well, you gonna say it? Mike Betette: It says here it’s your part. EpicLLOYD: But it’s usually stolen, so- Macho Man: HERE ON TOTAL DRAMA ERB! EpicLLOYD: Peachy. *The scene cuts to Skrillex’s bag being dropped on the steps of a large building, which looks similar to a hotel, next to Santa Claus’s feet as he knocks on the door.* Neil deGrasse Tyson: Come in! *Skrillex feels his bag being lifted up and chucked into a doorway, then skidding before slamming into something.* Neil deGrasse Tyson: Want me to open it? Santa Claus: Leave it closed. It’s Skrillex. Neil deGrasse Tyson: Oh. GANDHI! *Gandhi comes creeping out of a kitchen, carrying a big pot of soup which he’s stirring.* Gandhi: Yes? Santa Claus: Cook him the Dickweed special! Gandhi: Spinach and Miralax? With salt? Santa Claus: Yes, wi- Gandhi: NO SALT! Santa Claus: Whatever. Teams: Team Gangster: Al Capone, Cleopatra, Doctor Who, Gorgo, Kanye West, Lady Gaga, Marilyn Monroe, Mario, Mr. T, Rick Grimes, Sarah Palin, Skrillex. Team Mario is a Big Fat: Bob Ross, Captain Kirk, Donatello, Hillary Clinton, Joan of Arc, John Lennon, Justin Bieber, Luigi, Miley Cyrus, Peach, Raphael, William Wallace. Category:Blog posts